I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
