I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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