erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize