other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
