I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
