And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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