Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
