i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
