Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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