just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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