everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
