yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
