i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have aggressive nipples.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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