have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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