he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
