i think my tv is drunk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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