Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
