he thought i was a dude.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
