Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
