He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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