I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
