508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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