I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
