About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
