dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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