Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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