3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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