If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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