Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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