Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
