please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
