why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently you make a good broom.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
