my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
