i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
