Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
