Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
