just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
