Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
