When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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