and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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