Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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