I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
