Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Im part way to drunk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
