So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
