Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
