from now on my penis is your penis
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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