he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
