All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i came on her dog
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
