What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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