If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
